Sometimes life hands us the hard questions like, "Why did God have to put me through the pain of an extra marital affair?"
I don't know why God does what he does, but I can always conjecture, always try to offer my point of view. My personal belief is that pain is the pathway to growth. Pain, when used correctly can be a very healthy avenue for growth.
When we work out, typically what makes our muscles exhausted, by itself, has no potential to grow our muscles. It is once our muscles are fatigued that the extra strain, the extra push, the extra exercise gives us the most pain and opportunity to grow our muscles. That and the proper diet once we have experienced that pain. Let me say that again, "The workout alone is not enough. It must be supplemented with the proper physical diet."
The funny thing I hear a lot is that "I never should have cheated and had that affair. I became an adulterer." While on the surface, that is correct, the conclusion isn't quite accurate. When you see people who are homeless, who have served time, who have cheated, what you should be saying is: "It is only by the grace of God that I am not in the same boat. God has blessed me with certain experiences, talents, environments, etc so I am not in that boat."
What is more accurate, is that the person was already an adulterer. All God did was align the circumstances to show it. So why would God do that? Why would God reveal the heart of a person, knowing the person would fall into sin?
I offer this. To grow His child. I often speak to people several years later, after an extra marital affair and ask them, "Knowing what you know now, seeing what you've seen and having gone through what you've gone through, if God placed you back into that same place, would you cheat?" Surprisingly, the most common answer is, "No." They may justify their actions, based on loneliness or blame someone else for hurting them, but they still say, "No."
Looks like growth to me. If you had an eternal perspective, knowing the sole purpose of this world was to grow your children, would you allow pain to occur in their lives? If you have a life long perspective, knowing the sole purpose of your household is to coach your children and prepare them for the remainder of their lives, would you allow pain to occur?
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD