Suicide

Smile on the outside,

Hurtin' on the inside.

Just wake up one day more,

Maybe you'll feel better

You can always do it tomorrow

A ten year old kid,

Wandering the streets

Cause he can't live up to his parent's expectations.

Maybe I'll get lucky and have a car hit me to end it all

Cryin at the kitchen table as the father yells

Like a ghost to the family.

One feels like committing suicide when one only lives trying to please others

Never good enough

Never belonging

Gone in spirit already,

The physical alignment is not much more loss.

Each day a dread

Shouldn't I be more thankful for what I have?

Guilty, the feelings get stuffed back down

Only to fester and mold underneath the surface.

You, paper, are my outlet.

You, counselor, help me find my voice.

A soul ignored and unheard shall beg to die

Help me find my voice.

<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
Copyright Nov 2019

The Void

I feel a void,

Deep within my soul,

A void that only you can fill.

But the depths of the void

Are like a never ending cave

So it is a lie to say its completely filled

More like obscured.

Without you I must live with myself

So much pain and sorrow

A million demons torment me

For they find comfort in the empty space

Should I put the weight of my void on you?

No, only God can handle this.

It is too much to place on any person,

Even a partner.

The demon laughs and taunts,

What is wrong with you?

Frustration cannot even find its way out through tears.

A voice smothered with a thousand hands.

No novacaine, sex, drugs nor alcohol tonight

Just the feeling that may exhaust me to sleep.

<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
Copyright 1111