"How are you?", I ask.
And my accuser blames me and points to my folly.
You are absolutely right and I am sorry.
I used to be a man of no regrets.
But somewhere along the line, my mistakes and regrets grew to monumental proportions.
I am not sorry I got caught.
Light has set me free and persuaded a better path.
I am not sorry I was disciplined or suffered pain.
The fruit has been revelations, knowledge and understanding.
It is why I tend to have to learn the hard way,
To experience myself.
No, what I hate about the wrongs I have created,
Is that they have somehow destroyed something pure, something beautiful, something innocent.
It is that they have caused harm to my loved ones.
It is the impact of how they hurt and affected you.
Deep down, within me, is a desire to create value.
To bless those around me.
Nothing in me wants to be a disappointment to you or anyone else.
Let alone be a disappointment to myself.
It is this desire, that makes the pressures so great.
That makes me fear becoming a wasted life.
That leads to the self sabotage of numbing vices,
When I feel the reality of not expressing my full potential.
Do not doubt that I care simply because actions speak louder than words.
Simply listen to the still small voice,
The one that knows the desires of your heart,
Underneath the worldly distortions.
And how your motives are so easily distorted,
By the perception of the simple minded and the reality of this broken world.
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© June 2015