He comes home after a hard day at work. Sits down to the table with wife, daughter and daughter's boyfriend. The kids are so joyful, reminds him of when he was young. Full of spirit. But those days have long gone. He has been seasoned. He is a company man now. He thinks back to those days, living in the small town in Vietnam, with thatched roof.
He thinks back to when he dreamed of being a writer. His father wanted him to put a good head on his shoulders and determined to argue the dreamer out of him. But his stubbornness would not let it go. He was determined to become a writer.
Then, the country and war hit. Like all dreams, life has a way of coming through. Smashing face to face with a dream, draining all of that dreams blood, the air it breathes. But no sudden death, no ripping off the band aid, quickly. A slow painful death. That time, purposefully developed the first masculine trait, as he remembered deciding to give up on his dream and learn mathematics just to survive. Mathematics was his ticket out of the hell hole and the birth of a new life, a dream in and of itself, in America.
He looks across the kitchen table at his beautiful wife. He could not have eyes for any other woman. She patiently, kindly speaks to him and does not beat up on him as he has seen so many women do to their husbands. And for that he is grateful. She is classy and graceful, day in and day out. His gratitude shows in the car that he drives, a beat up, old grey car. He serves her daily. And she prances around in her red convertible Celica, though she is much older, it makes her feel like a twenty something, the envy of many women around her. A puppy with a brand new collar, gifted with love. She knows she is prized. He grabs some food, the last to eat at his own table. He does not ask for acknowledgement of his contributions but silently serves. He does not complain about his daily burdens because he remembers those days of struggle.
When he arrived in America, he discovered that he not only had to give up writing to learn a subject he hated, mathematics. But in Silicon Valley, before it even was Silicon Valley, he discovered that he would yet again have to deviate further from his passion to learn computer science. And he did.
From small village in Vietnam, to a nice suburban home where he could enjoy his family, his wife and daughter, to the mansion he had just bought. They purchased the house before it was even open and he could easily sell the house to turn a profit. But it represented so much more. Prosperity he had built for his family.
He looked across the table at this kid, this boy, who pursued his daughter. What was he to do? Did this young man, who knew nothing about life, who knew nothing of the world or life's struggles deserve his daughter? And on top of that, he stood in the way of her developing a career and a place in society where she would be well taken care of. Something, he fought so hard for.
But the young boy, has no place to live. And a man's father does not have to be the same person as a man's genetic father. Dinner finishes and he excuses himself from the table, entering his office. Dialing a number. "Hello." "Yes, I was calling about the apartment, is it still for rent?"
As the conversation ended, he hung up the phone wondering what the boy had remembered...
As a millionaire, he took this young man to the flea market and bargained over dollars for a bicycle. The message. Do not let your pride get in the way of doing what you need to do for your family. For that is something to truly be proud of.
As he spun out on the freeway, the young boy drove closely behind. He explained to the whole family that the young boy was such a great driver and the house erupted in laughter. Yet again, showing humility.
And in the weeks to come, he would pay for the young boy's apartment. "You will have two months to get a job and find a way to pay for the next month's rent, or you will have no place to live."
Time and seasons of life, slowly separated the young boy from his daughter. Through time, however, those actions, unnoticed by many, became more powerful teachings than any lecture ever could.
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
June 1, 2020
