Josh was a driven man. He always focused on his goals and got what he wanted. Perhaps it was Josh's parents that drove him. They never expected anything less than perfection. Or perhaps it was that cute girl that turned him down in middle school. The one he approached with half choked words only to feel like a fool and endure the embarrasment on top of it. Perhaps it was his driving need to prove himself to himself because of her. Or perhaps he just decided love wasn't going to play fair so he'd pick a different game. Or, maybe, just maybe, it was the rest of the world with their criticisms and endless words of discouragement, trying to hold Josh down. His drive, his ambition, was there to prove the world wrong.
Sure Josh dated. When he could. When it fit in nicely into his plan for his life. A bachelor's in Mechanical Engineering, followed by four years of medical school, two years of residency to become a hand surgeon, and then two years of research on top of that. When it fit into that schedule.
Kim was amazing. She was beautiful and intelligent.
Josh was constantly on the look out for a perfect ten woman. Sure he was superficial, but some wounds go deep, real deep. And he was going to wait and be patient. At least that is what Josh told himself, when others might have seen past his facade and might have gone as far to say that despite his stack of accomplishments, Josh was still a scared young boy, scared to take risks in love.
And when Josh met Kim, he scrutinized everything about her. She might have potential he thought to himself. She might be in my league he thought.
But it was Kim that always made the first move. She is the one who asked Josh out for the first time. She is the one who grabbed Josh by the back of the neck and pulled him in for their first kiss. It was all Kim.
Kim even set up their first meeting by coincidence. She worked in the hospital and found Josh in the breakroom when all of a sudden several boxes arrived that they needed an extra hand with. They were over staffed by two people that day, but for some reason Josh never questioned it. And that was when she rubbed his ego, "Wow. Thank you so much. We really needed that extra hand. And you stay pretty fit for a doctor. Do you work out?" Josh ate it up. Like putty in her hands. After his response, she followed it up with, "Hey, do you want to go for a walk with me this Friday? I have to go pick up some items from Raley's a few blocks from here and I hate walking alone."
With Josh's fragile ego, her compliment and "damsel in distress" call, worked perfectly. And Josh was none the wiser.
But Kim really was amazing. On top of her amazing talents, she had a big loving heart. She visited and delivered smiles to people aging and had a heart to care for those in need. All this on her free time. Kim was not the type to try to impress others and Josh admired that about her. She was the ant, steady and diligent, performing amazing tasks, while no one was looking. But Josh was.
After six months, Josh was hit hard. One day, he sat Kim by the fire place one night and told her, "Kim I have something I need to tell you."
Josh was such a chicken, he always had to preface something important with these words. Otherwise, he would back out. But Kim always made him feel at ease. Comfortable. Like he could say anything and it would be okay.
He continued, "I am a warrior. I love the fight, the struggle and the victory. I love taking on new challenges and growing myself to that next level. But you are the type of woman, that makes a warrior's heart feel full. That softens the firey spirit and brings peace to the warrior's soul. And after years of searching and waiting, I have finally found what I have been looking for."
Josh pulled out an engagement ring. "Kim will you be my final destination? Will you be my life partner?"
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© January 2015