A Cup of Morning Grief

Inspired after reading The Gift of Adult ADD by Lara Honos...

I sit alone in a coffee shop,

Alone in life,

Reflecting on all the wonderful memories.

It is not the good but the great that tortures me.

These thoughts resonate with me...

"I can't let go of you.  I don't know how to let go of you."

"What we shared was one of the most meaningful relationships in my life.  You not being in my future doesn't take away the luminous moments we shared."

"Its okay for me to talk to you in my mind even though I have to let you go.  I am often torn between releasing you and making desperate plans to get you back; I don't act on the plans, but I honor my wish to be close to you."

"I allow my heart to open by feeling this heartache.  I cry and let the waves of grief overcome me."

"I don't want to lose what we had.  I cant let go because I don't trust something new will come."

"Letting go is hard; its not supposed to be easy.  I allow myself to trust that there is a greater purpose in loving and leaving you."

"I'm about to make that leap from here to there - here being the life that derived some of its fullness from your presence, and there being the life in which you are a memory.  I make the leap with deep sadness.  I loved you."

I sit and reflect.

I sit and hurt.

There will never be another you.

...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© September 2015