Sunday, July 12, 2015

Misplaced Hope

When I was young,

I loved family,

Resulting in a growing hatred and contempt,

For individual members as seasons of life separated us,

And my expectations were met with disappointments,

Based on my understanding of what family was.


Quickly, I turned to value growth,

Yielding impatience with others and a growing need for isolation.


To avoid such an empty life, I turned to romance,

Tossing relationships after they inevitably grew stale,

Forcing me to abandon and betray loved ones,

Shattering hearts and creating broken promises.


I considered religions and moralistic lawfulness,

Only to find that such a love of righteousness might cause me to hate all,

As people's sins became blatantly apparent.


Eventually, I had my children and valued them above all else,

Only to sever the relationship with my spouse,

And to inhibit their growth through over protection,

Growing tired and bitter over the thankless sacrifices I made,

Which seemed to go unnoticed.


Consistent with American norms,

I turned to freedom,

Only to resent life's responsibilities,

And opportunities to bless others through service.


As such, life has been a delicate balance,

Of misplaced hope,

That eventually led to the emptiness and meaninglessness,

That underlies all great virtues.

<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© July 2015

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