I loved you so much,
But over and over you taught me that you would not be there for me.
When I needed help,
You were supposed to hear my plea.
When I felt alone,
You were supposed to stay by my side.
When I felt frustrated,
You were supposed to help me sort through my emotions.
When I was abused,
You were supposed to protect me.
When I felt rejected,
You were supposed to counsel me.
When I was overwhelmed,
You were supposed to lend a helping hand.
Is it any surprise that I emotionally detached?
That I am a bipolar sociopath characterized by a Madonna Whore complex.
It is complicated, yet so simple.
The one I love and the one I have sex with must be two different beings.
It is what I learned when she broke my heart.
And my world fell to pieces.
And the pain was too much to bear.
And the easy way out was right in front of me.
For how can I handle the hurt and the pain of having the one I love fail to be there when I really need them?
How can I handle the pain when the one I love leaves my life?
Isn't it safe to have someone to run to who will love me for me?
Isn't it safe to have someone who is willing to help me pick up the pieces?
To help numb the pain of a broken heart?
Quite strategic, we humans are.
All our coping mechanisms are different.
Yet we are all the same.
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© August 2015