When we choose right,
We show our love by obedience,
Opening our eyes to the truth of God's promises.
...
When we choose wrong,
We receive His love in our dependence,
Opening our eyes to the grace of God.
...
Both are necessary,
Both are needed,
The food and water of life.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© May 2015
Friday, May 29, 2015
The Pride Cycle
We start with His love,
Thousands of ways to say thank you,
Thousands of reasons to show gratitude.
Our default here is to choose right,
To accept self care,
To take care of and care for other people
He lives with us and guides us,
But pride sinks in,
Confidence rages,
We begin to wonder why we need God,
Or we have simply forgotten Him.
And he leaves us to our own demise.
We become numbed by the comfort, control and significance
Utilizing the idols which we blindly succumb to
For the few chosen souls,
Gods double edge sword,
Pierces the heart,
Exposing the painful reality and the damage done,
Lifes circumstances bring every man and woman to their knees,
And we experience the beauty of His amazing grace.
Ending with His love.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© May 2015
Thousands of ways to say thank you,
Thousands of reasons to show gratitude.
Our default here is to choose right,
To accept self care,
To take care of and care for other people
He lives with us and guides us,
But pride sinks in,
Confidence rages,
We begin to wonder why we need God,
Or we have simply forgotten Him.
And he leaves us to our own demise.
We become numbed by the comfort, control and significance
Utilizing the idols which we blindly succumb to
For the few chosen souls,
Gods double edge sword,
Pierces the heart,
Exposing the painful reality and the damage done,
Lifes circumstances bring every man and woman to their knees,
And we experience the beauty of His amazing grace.
Ending with His love.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© May 2015
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Lost Gifts
I gave you a poem I can never get back,
I gave you a piece of my heart that I now lack,
If I could turn back the sands of time would I?
Or would I leave it alone for tears to cry?
Can I admit wrong and still wish it so?
If I believe it wrong why does my longing grow?
I am lost in my thoughts simply a mess.
I love you, I hate you, I must confess.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© May 2015
I gave you a piece of my heart that I now lack,
If I could turn back the sands of time would I?
Or would I leave it alone for tears to cry?
Can I admit wrong and still wish it so?
If I believe it wrong why does my longing grow?
I am lost in my thoughts simply a mess.
I love you, I hate you, I must confess.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© May 2015
Finally Free
Finally free,
Finally free?
The words sting to the core,
As if I am a maggot,
To be thrown out with yesterday's trash.
The emotional intelligence of a teenage boy,
You wrap circles around me with your words,
As I remain dumbfounded
And left to pick up the pieces of the emotional whirlwind that just hit.
Within months you are already moving on.
At this rate,
I will still be processing and resolving twenty years from now,
Midnight terrors and two am ramblings.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© May 2015
Finally free?
The words sting to the core,
As if I am a maggot,
To be thrown out with yesterday's trash.
The emotional intelligence of a teenage boy,
You wrap circles around me with your words,
As I remain dumbfounded
And left to pick up the pieces of the emotional whirlwind that just hit.
Within months you are already moving on.
At this rate,
I will still be processing and resolving twenty years from now,
Midnight terrors and two am ramblings.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© May 2015
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Icicles of Love
Sometimes we fear we have no room in our hearts,
We have been hurt and the wounds are deep,
We think our cold shoulder represents our cold hearts,
For how can we trust when there is no one to trust?
And then we look deeper.
We are extremely caring individuals with good hearts,
Our passions and dreams are bigger than those of others,
We protect because we know how powerful our love is,
Eventually, we will break the chains of mistrust,
Develop the deep relationships we deserve,
Influencing and inspiring those around us,
And the world will finally see who we are,
And what we are capable of.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© June 2012
Sacrifice
Sacrifice,
The settling for something other than what you truly desire,
The pretension of a false self versus the true self,
Settling for the expectations of others,
Rather than the unconditional love you deserve,
Accepting the fate that life is just incapable of dealing you the royal flush,
The overwhelming sense of loss as you feel the void.
To know that you can never go back in time to fill that childhood need.
It is what brings tears from no where as you read a poem of parental love,
It is what brings tears on a wedding day as you force yourself into the next stage of life,
Knowing you are not completely ready.
It is what causes a nervous break down,
When you watch a romantic movie,
And a friend jokingly tells you that that will never happen to you.
Your hopes and dreams presented to a blinded soul,
Leave you wounded with the understanding the others are incapable of caring for you.
So you push to be the light in the world.
That you have never even seen or experienced
This is your world,
This is your sacrifice.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
May 2015
The settling for something other than what you truly desire,
The pretension of a false self versus the true self,
Settling for the expectations of others,
Rather than the unconditional love you deserve,
Accepting the fate that life is just incapable of dealing you the royal flush,
The overwhelming sense of loss as you feel the void.
To know that you can never go back in time to fill that childhood need.
It is what brings tears from no where as you read a poem of parental love,
It is what brings tears on a wedding day as you force yourself into the next stage of life,
Knowing you are not completely ready.
It is what causes a nervous break down,
When you watch a romantic movie,
And a friend jokingly tells you that that will never happen to you.
Your hopes and dreams presented to a blinded soul,
Leave you wounded with the understanding the others are incapable of caring for you.
So you push to be the light in the world.
That you have never even seen or experienced
This is your world,
This is your sacrifice.
...
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
May 2015
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Helpless
Johnny used to pee on the carpet, steal momey and run away from home.
The funny thing was, Johnny never got in trouble for acting out. He only got in trouble randomly and depending on his father's mood.
Johnny learned from a young age that harboring anger would only lead to an outlet on other more helpless individuals. So Johnny, as a child idealized the situation. He would turn into a rag doll, and play dead. He was supporting the family by becoming a rag doll to reduce his father's stress as he was thrown to the ground and slapped around.
But one day, Johnny had an overwhelming sense that his life was not his own. He walked across the street back and forth hoping to get hit by a car. Eventually, a police car came and told him to go home.
Johnny was always thankful that he had not been killed that day. And his matra for survival from that point on was, "Why commit suicide today, I can just wait for tomorrow and if I still feel like it, do it tomorrow."
As Johnny grew, he would be plagued with nightmares of his father. Although Johnny did not know it, the nightmares were his only access to the valuable emotion of anger and rage. The only access to the emotion that internally allows people to sense intuitively the injustices around us. Injustices to ourselves and others. And if Johnny could learn how to integrate this emotion, he might finally learn how to protect himself from inappropriate manipulation in his adult life.
The funny thing was, Johnny never got in trouble for acting out. He only got in trouble randomly and depending on his father's mood.
Johnny learned from a young age that harboring anger would only lead to an outlet on other more helpless individuals. So Johnny, as a child idealized the situation. He would turn into a rag doll, and play dead. He was supporting the family by becoming a rag doll to reduce his father's stress as he was thrown to the ground and slapped around.
But one day, Johnny had an overwhelming sense that his life was not his own. He walked across the street back and forth hoping to get hit by a car. Eventually, a police car came and told him to go home.
Johnny was always thankful that he had not been killed that day. And his matra for survival from that point on was, "Why commit suicide today, I can just wait for tomorrow and if I still feel like it, do it tomorrow."
As Johnny grew, he would be plagued with nightmares of his father. Although Johnny did not know it, the nightmares were his only access to the valuable emotion of anger and rage. The only access to the emotion that internally allows people to sense intuitively the injustices around us. Injustices to ourselves and others. And if Johnny could learn how to integrate this emotion, he might finally learn how to protect himself from inappropriate manipulation in his adult life.
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