Thursday, February 18, 2016

Deep Waters

Listen to audio version of "Deep Waters"

So much water under the bridge

And it boils and unfoils

Through the depths

Of my intertwined past

And secrets and shame

Emote the pain

As I wake up

From a dream

Where it seems

Everyone has left

Me alone and afraid

While I make a way

With no phone

Yet I roam

Like a madman

Filled with love

Intoxicated with hate

That relates

To the layers upon layers

Of bitterness

That intersects time and space

In my mind

And leaves me blind

So I cringe

For all this

Is just water under the bridge

<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
February 18th, 2016

Sunday, February 14, 2016

My Tender Sweetheart

Energy galore,

Emerging from the souls,

Of forty little kids.

A little girl comes up,

My turn!  My turn!

The others object,

She must be blindfolded!

That's not fair!

Don't worry,

I reply.

We spin her around,

Her vision still intact,

With a suspense looming,

She takes the pin

And donkey's tail.

Slowly she moves forward.

The kids nervous to lose their spot.

She lifts her hands to place the pin.

Kids yelling,

To the left!


Down a little!

And she finally places the tail

She lifts up her hands in victory

I win!  I win!

But the kids are now happy and laughing

Joining in the innocence of a child.

Happy, tender, lovely

For the pinned tail lies on the donkey's forehead!


<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© February 2014
Happy Valentines!

Tuesday, February 9, 2016


How empty is my heart,

It was once so full of love,

My life was filled with joy and dancing and people.

I used to be on top of the world,

Everything I touched simply turned to gold,

I was invincible and could do no wrong.

Yet, now I am a slave to the passions,

I once held in such high esteem,

Led slowly to death,

Like a frog boiled,

By simply increasing some heat over time,

I did not see it coming,

I had no clue.

Bitter, resentment, disappointment fill my mind,

As I weep tears on my pillow,

Night after night,

That leak from my frustrated soul.

All past lovers have abandoned me,

I am left alone with rocks and stones,

My friends are no where to be found,

My family has long been gone.

Those who I would have thought would be there for me,

Yes, they are the very ones who stab my wounds deeper,

They have become ones to avoid,

For the pain is too great to bear.

Faced with this burden,

I continue working,

For this great price I was destined to pay,

I walk through it,

Isolated, alone and afraid,

For all signs of hope,

End up overtaking me,

Anyone who wants to,

Can defeat my aching soul,

And take what they want from me,

I am defenseless,

I am powerless.

Those days once filled with celebration,

Fly by like the sands of time,

My presents are simply boxes and boxes

Filled with anguish and sorrow.

My voice has become quenched,

For no one understands,

My contributions have become vain,

For nothing I do is of value.

My soul is like a tender joint,

That knows no recovery,

My heart is stuck in an endless cycle,

A cycle of despair.

What I used to stand for,

And fight for in valiant ways,

Even the opposite now flows from within me,

As I struggle to keep my head above water.

These devils,

These demons,

Simply have no resistance

And can party all night long.

Guilt and shame,

Plague me,

As I ask myself,

"Was it something that I did?"

"Did I bring this on myself?"

Even my children hide from me,

Captive by their own struggles,

And I cannot help.

All I can do is watch on in horror,

As life begins to break them,

Shackling them with the chains

I so desperately tried to keep them from.

All greatness that ever once was,

Everything good within me,

Has vanished.

My talents and deeds find no outlet,

I am shattered into a million pieces of me,

I might be able to put together,

If I could only find where I am.

As I wander through the fog,

I remember good memories

And sweet victories of days past,

But now I find no team mates,

To battle life with,

Just those who stand on pedestals,

And smugly smile at my demise.

My mistakes are like a buffet table,

Endless and in clear view,

In transparency, my respect and honor,

Have been traded for disgust and pity,

What can I do but hide away?

As I reflect upon my life,

I recall when mud began clinging to my name,

And all I had worked for was destroyed,

No one was by my side.

My riches and property and belongings

Were dispersed among strangers.

I was left starving and hungry,

Each day,

I would cherish a simple coffee and fruit and slice of bread,

As it might be my only meal.

Fending for a place to live,

A small corner or crevice to lay my head.

And all I could think was,

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"Does the world hate me?"

Onlookers may have wondered,

Who was this man in this strange place,

As I wandered to and fro.

My bones were tired,

My feet were sore,

And it was as if,

Everything I ever did wrong in my life,

Was strung together,

And placed as weights on my shoulder,

When I could barely even carry myself.

Some wondered why the tears,

Some advised to simply move on,

Some resented my victim mentality.

But all I could do was pray for comfort,

Pray for restoration and healing,

And continue to fight for those depending on me,

And those who might one day be in the same place.

I exhausted all my resources,

Social capital devoured,

And found betrayal in my suffering,

Even my soul could barely find a morsel

To sustain itself.

Attacked by external circumstances,

I naturally turned to my inner strength,

Only to find my heart and mind,

Were just as disturbed,

For I had betrayed myself,

With the ways I had failed,

Even on the inside there was

Both sabotage and rebellion.


Life was hitting hard,


A civil war was wreaking havoc.

As I return to the present,

And reflect upon my reality,

I can say my aches and pains are many,

My heart, mind and soul are faint,

But gratitude fills my heart,

So much gratitude I can't explain,

Not even words can express,

For what is a building without a foundation?

What is the world if not a reflection of within?

<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
Copyright February 2016

Monday, February 8, 2016


I still go the the park,

Where we used to roam,

Swing on the swing,

Where we used to hang,

Stare up at the stars

In the moonlight,

Our only battle

Defending against midnight

... Alas, morning would come and morning would go...

I walk by your house,

But do not knock on the door,

I hike your trails,

But only miss you more,

Branches and frogs,

Nature's very own,

Time is distant,

Like a frozen zone.

... Alas, I must be crazy, insanely searching for something that doesn't exist...

<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© February 2016

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Diamonds and Rubies

She is precious and rare,

No other woman on the planet like her,

She gets up early to feed her family,

Up before anyone,

Yet last to fall asleep,

Making sure all the chicklets are taken care of,

Their bellies are full and their bodies are warm,

Her heart is for others,

Spending her waking hours rehabilitating the sick,

And lending a listening ear,

Focusing not only on the body,

But also on the heart and soul.

Her friends are so self focused,

But she rushes to them in their time of need,

Walking with them,

When all others have long since abandoned ship,

She is loyal to the bone.

So loyal,

In her weakest hour she will turn to God,

Rather than a whimsical romantic affair.

No one really knows the truth of her burdens,

Or the extent of her depravity.

Because she walks with class,

And carries herself with grace.

Yes, she is really one to be celebrated,

Yet she walks in the shadows,

Somewhat unknown.

A rarity indeed.

And one we need more of.

<SI> Scott Izu
© February 2016

Thursday, February 4, 2016

Lost in a Fog

Its been so long since I touched a woman,
I can barely imagine
The touch of your skin
The warmth of your love
I just want to run to you
And pick you up in my arms
Have a sleep over
And lay on your bosom
I hear your voice
In the wind
And the chill
In the night
A stream with no running water
Dark blue is the sky
Forever I love you
Though I do not know why
<SI> Scott Izu, PhD
© February 2016